Mom's Tip of the Day #37

Disobedience is a sin against God. Love your child too much to allow him to be disobedient. Follow through with the appropriate consequence—every time.

Mom's Tip of the Day #26

Don’t become so immersed with developing your child’s performance-oriented gifts that you neglect cultivating his greater gifts. Mercy, persistence, and generosity are often overlooked.

Mom's Tip of the Day #41

Love can be expressed in words, thoughts, prayers, and affection, but mostly, real love is embodied by servant action and selfless attitude.

Are you staying involved with your middle schooler's friends?

Friends are the lifeblood of adolescence. Our children begin to turn to their peer relationships for advice, encouragement, and also as a way of identifying themselves. Do they hang with the athletes? The band? The mavericks? The church kids? Getting to know your middle schooler's friends is a great way to get to know your changing child. So, how do you do this?

An Open Home. Who cares if your home is clean or cluttered? Growing teens just need a full fridge! “I always joked with my husband that I never knew who I would be fixing breakfast for on the weekends,” remembers cookbook author Barbara Smith (she's also mom to son Michael W. Smith and daughter Kim). “My kids’ friends would stay the night, sleeping on the floor or the couch, and I loved it. They felt welcomed in my home, and that is what it is all about.”

Networking. Stay involved with your child’s teachers and coaches. Get to know other parents. Collect phone numbers and emails, and connect with your child’s friends’ families. This is a season for you to concentrate on building relationships, too. Ask God to show you opportunities to pray for these families and minister to them, as well as ways you can join together to provide your kids with a strong parental support group.

Go Where the Kids Go.  Learn your way around myspace and facebook and set up your own account. This is a great way to keep tabs on your kids and their friends. Do not hesitate to ask questions of your middler. Ask: Who’s number keeps showing up on the caller ID? Who keeps texting you? Indeed, it is your business, and your child will be secretly pleased to have a mom who stays involved.

Besides making your presence known online, what about school functions? Do you drop your kids off at games, or do you hang around and get to know other families? What about church? Do you drop them off, or do you become part of that church family?

GET INVOLVED. It's part of "being there" for your kids.

Mom's Tip of the Day #33

Problems? Before you allow yourself to simply react, be sure you are viewing each of life’s unexpected situations in the Light of God’s Word.

Got middle schoolers? It's time to step up your game!

If you have a child entering middle school this fall, whether they are schooled traditionally or if you homeschool, I encourage you to acknowledge this new phase of life. You may choose to do that with a physical benchmark, such as a special dinner, a weekend trip, or a keepsake gift. Or you may decide to sit down and offer your child some new freedoms (along with new responsibilities) that can serve to identify his growth. Whatever you do, step up your game and treat your child accordingly.

Brandon James, a former pastor to middle school students who now serves as a missionary in the Dominican Republic, notes, "I do see parents who treat their middle school students as though they are still in third or fourth grade, and it makes life very difficult for that student.” Middle school is a different world, no matter how you go about it. It requires you to acknowledge that your child is growing up.

One great way to do this is to take the summer to do a Bible study with your coming-of-age son or daughter. Wise Up! (for girls) and Dig Deep (for guys) are nine-week studies through the first nine chapters of Proverbs that offer parents a great way to connect with their kids, and they offer middle schoolers a great way to connect with the Lord. Take a look at these resources today!

Mom's Tip of the Day #16

Need a pick-me-up? During the kids’ naptime, grab some time in God’s Word. Ask Him to reveal Himself in a new way.

Intentional Listening

While talking and texting with their friends comes naturally, as kids enter those adolescent years, talking with their parents can become strained. It seems we moms only get busier as our children grow, so we must train ourselves to become even more intentional about listening. Believe me, you don't want to miss anything they say!


Listen without talking. Middlers are sometimes slow to pull their thoughts together. After all, they are developing mentally, as well! Your child needs a patient listener who does not interrupt or try to rush him through a conversation. My middler knows that I fall short in this area of listening. I try to keep James 1:19 before me: ...be quick to listen, slow to speak...
Listen without fixing it. Often your twelve-year-old just wants to talk through a decision she is making. She does not want you to make it for her. Determine if your child is asking for advice or if she is simply turning to you as a sounding board. How will you know? Just let her keep talking.

Listen without distractions. Take advantage of drives to sports practice and music lessons by showing your interest in listening to your child. Put the cell phone on silent and turn the radio down. Visit quiet places for occasional dates with your child. Secure in your undivided attention, they will love having you all to themselves!

Mom's Tip of the Day #25

Often middle schoolers become disinterested in the sport or musical instrument they have studied throughout childhood. Know when to push and when to back off.

Transitioning Your Child to Middle School

If your child is entering middle school this year, your parenting skills may need a tune-up for the many miles ahead. Focus on appreciating this season, listening well, and getting to know the many friends that will be a part of your child’s life.

Appreciate the change. Your child is growing on three fronts: physically, emotionally, and socially. Your parenting style needs to adapt in order to accommodate those changes. Can you keep up? “Middle school students are changing at an extremely rapid pace,” notes Brandon James, a former Middle School Minister now serving as a missionary in the Dominican Republic. “It’s important for parents to familiarize themselves with the adolescent stage.”

Physically. Middlers are excited about the physical transformations they are experiencing, yet these can be embarrassing, as well. This is a season of comparison as they measure their outward appearance and body development from the yardstick of their peers.

Emotionally. On their way to becoming adults, middlers long for independence yet still appreciate parent-imposed boundaries. Some kids seem to race toward the status that accompanies growing up. Others may lag behind, content with the last remnants of childhood.

Socially. “One of the biggest issues facing this age group is fitting in. In the past they were friends with whoever they were around. Now they choose friends based on their likes and dislikes,” says James. As they develop deeper friendships, middlers may put some distance between themselves and their parents. Staying connected might not be as easy as it used to be.

Tomorrow: Tips for Staying Connected with your Middle Schooler!

Stay connected with me when you follow me on Twitter! And for even more information on middle schoolers, check out my book, Season of Change!

Whatcha' holdin' on to? Math?

Hey Everybody,

Just coming up for air during what may be the busiest summer ever! Uhmmm, hello? What happened to lazy and hazy? All we've got around here are the crazy days of summer! LOL! But I do love it!

I was selling some of my kids never-to-be-used again textbooks last Friday, and as I was putting them out on a table, I opened the Saxon Math 8/7 that Derek just completed, and there on the inside front cover were all the kids' names. You know that place inside a textbook where you write your name and then tell what condition the book is in? Well, they had all filled it in, and it was just so sweet to me, and I got all teary-eyed over it. (It really doesn't take much at all for me to get all teary-eyed. But in these last few months preceding Danya's graduation, well, it's just been almost constant waterworks!) So my friend Sandy is there, and she says, "What's wrong?" So I show her the book, and she says, "Rebecca, all three of your kids hated that book. Sell it!"

Well, they did hate it. I hated it too, LOL, so I did end up selling it, but I made sure it went to a good home. :) (btw, while I do loathe all things math, unless we are talking about couponing and saving money, I highly recommend Saxon Math. Just want to make that clear!)

Isn't it funny the stuff we hold on to? People, things, clothes that are two sizes too small--hoping that one day they will fit again? Oh yeah!

My pastor challenged us yesterday to take a good look at what we're holding on to, and ask God if there is anything in our lives that we need to lay down before Him. You know what? When you start asking questions like that, the Lord will tell you. Count on it!

I hope everybody has a great week!

Mom's Tip of the Day #61

 If you are distracted by phone calls, the Internet, or television, focus on your children. Give them your full attention, and their behavior will improve.

Mom's Tip of the Day #77

Remember, you have to have fun with your kids. Laugh at yourself. Lighten up.

Mom's Tip of the Day #19

Let go. Sometimes there are certain trials that a child must go through in order to become the person God intends her to be.

Mom's Tip of the Day #8

Don’t let your picky eater, or your reaction to him, ruin the meal. If he’s hungry, he’ll eat. If not, he’ll wait until the next one.

In Memoriam--Dana Key: Thank You for Leading the Charge

Hey Everybody,

About 30 years ago, I was a young teen sitting at an outdoor concert on youth day at what was then known as "Silver Dollar City" (now Dollywood) in Sevierville, TN. I was waiting to see my favorite Contemporary Christian duo, DeGarmo and Key. I had opted out of roller coasters with my friends in order to get a good seat, and I did! I was right up front, and the only other person there early was a gentleman I considered "elderly" (In hindsight, I would say he was around 50, LOL), wearing a Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and socks with sandals. I had  thought one of us might possibly be waiting at the wrong stage, but I stayed in my seat hoping that I was indeed at the DeGarmo and Key show.

I was, and it was so exciting to see them in person! I had been waiting for weeks to see the show, and they did not disappoint! I was such a huge fan of this music that dared to defy the convention of the day--despite the controversy, it was really all about Jesus, and I knew it was! Curiousity got the better of me as I watched the old man next to me jammin' out, and I finally asked him, "Sir, why are you here? Do you really like this music?"

With eyes twinkling above a proud smile, he pointed to the stage at Dana Key and said, "That boy up there is my son." Ohhhh. I get it.

DeGarmo and Key were radical Christian musicians. They poured into my life and my generation never even knowing the difference they made. And what I didn't realize then was that these Christian musicianaries who dared to do something different for Christ in order to sing a new song and reach a new generation for Him were paving the way for groups like DCTalk and Barlowe Girl, Skillet and Relient K, who paved the way for my favorite band, DANYA.

When Dana Key passed away suddenly this week, he died leaving a legacy like no other. His band, DeGarmo and Key, led over 100,000 kids to faith in the Lord Jesus Christ over their 20 years of ministry.

Dana, thank you. I am a life that was changed.

Mom's Tip of the Day #93

Make sure you and your spouse are the first to talk to your kids about sex. In doing this, you become the expert. Anything that anyone else says will forever be weighed against what Mom and Dad said first.

Mom's Tip of the Day #60

Turn in early. Getting a good night’s sleep (adults need 7 – 8 hours) will prepare you physically to meet many of parenting’s greatest challenges.

Mom's Tip of the Day #72

Role-play different social scenarios with your shy child. Your ideas and input will help give him the confidence he needs.

A Few of My Favorite Books for Encouraging Parents

Hey Everybody,

There are so many books that have ministered to me--thus far!--along my journey of homeschooling. This list is just a random sampling of the books that have made a difference in my life and, in so many ways, the lives of my children.

The Power of a Praying Wife and The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian.

These books are mainstays of my daily quiet time.

Disciplines of a Beautiful Woman by Anne Ortlund (a favorite author!) -- I read this one over and over in the early years of parenting. Also by this author, Children are Wet Cement. A classic read!

The Shaping of a Christian Family by Elisabeth Elliot. I was a mother of preschoolers when I first read this book, and I learned from Mrs. Elliot that teenagers do not have to be rebellious, nor should the Christian parent expect them to be. That was actually news to me at that time in my life. I stand firmly rooted now, however, on the belief that it is true. :)

Home Grown Kids and Home Style Teaching, by the fabulous duo of Raymond and Dorothy Moore. These grandparents of the homeschool movement were in Nashville for a speaking engagement just as Sandy and I had started homeschooling. We went to their seminar and oh my--we were affirmed, confirmed, and undeniably sold on the value of what we had only just begun in the lives of our children.

Don't Make Me Count to Three and Wise Words for Moms by my dear friend Ginger Plowman. The best, most practical, instructive guide to biblical discipline that I have ever read. The peaceful home for which I had been praying came fully into reality once I started implementing the Word of God as these resources detail.

Age of Opportunity by Paul Tripp. Great book on parenting teens. This one actually inspired my book for parenting tweens, Season of Change!

These are just a few of my picks for encouraging reads!

 

Mom's Tip of the Day #17

Habits create distinct boundaries for a child. Whether it is church attendance, family devotional time, or nightly bedtime prayers, children thrive on routines.

After 14 Years of Homeschooling, My Favorite Curriculums, Unit Studies, and Resources

Here are the homeschooling resources that have been tried and found true for our family. I highly recommend these as part of your child's education as well! You'll notice that we typically use a more structured curriculum for the basics (English, math, and science), and we tend to go with a unit study approach when it comes to Bible, history, geography, and lit. I have the sweetest memories of our unit studies that we all did together, our daily read-alouds and field trips. So much fun! This was a choice that became a lifestyle. To read the story of my homeschooling journey, go HERE to begin.

Reading: I used Phonics for Reading and Spelling and paired this with the very first books in the Hooked on Phonics program. My friend Sandy used the book, Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons.

Language Arts: We used the Rod and Staff curriculum, beginning in 2nd grade and going all the way through 10th grade. Excellent.

Spelling: Again, my favorite is Rod and Staff. We also used Spelling Power. This is a great approach for kinetic learners.

Math: I use Saxon math and believe it to be a great curriculum. It has worked well for my kids. When they were in elementary grades, I also used Math It! This is so great for learning all the math facts and great little strategic shortcuts! As my kids enter high school, they attend a weekly tutorial program for the more advanced math classes like Algebra 2, etc. I have never been a big fan of math (unless you are applying it to couponing, LOL) so it was important to me for my kids to learn math from people who really love it.

Science: Apologia, all the way. And the Discovery Channel and Animal Planet. My kids learned a lot from Steve Irwin, too. RIP.

Unit Study Curriculum Choices

Learning at Home by Ann Ward – This is really hard to find, but it is available on Amazon. This has a unit study feel coupled with a semi-Charlotte Mason approach. I used the Learning at Home books for Preschool through 2nd grade. Love these. We had so much FUN in those early years! Ann Ward was like a mentor/hero to me. I wrote her a letter once and she wrote me back. Amazing.

The Prairie Primer. Danya really enjoyed this unit study by Margie Gray, and the boys were young enough when we did this to like it too. There is so much great stuff online to go along with this study, including being able to hear all of those songs that Pa plays on the fiddle. Very cool. The only book that I did not enjoy was The Long Winter. It truly lives up to its name. LOL. It snows and snows and snows. I was sick of snow and I was just reading it to the kids. I truly cannot imagine living through it. :)

Tennessee History—Notgrass Company. What can I say? I love the Notgrasses! I cried when we got to the end of this study both times: when my older two did it, and then when Derek went through it.

Learning Adventures. These unit studies are just the best for grades 4 - 8. Well-written and organized, loaded with great information and extra helps, author Dorian Holt takes you and your student on an incredible ride through history. My kids loved these. We first met Dorian at the CSTHEA fair and we just went crazy. It was a rock star moment for her! I even called Sandy from the booth and had Dorian talk to her. Dorian said, “Hello, Sandy? This is Dorian Holt.” And Sandy just started to gush. It was a fan moment. We’re complete nuts! :)

For High School unit studies, I’m back to Notgrass. Check out their website. And, the Cornerstone Curriculum by David Quine. Danya did this one when she was a freshman. Life-changing.

Of course, along with these, there were lots of odds ‘n’ ends that I used to supplement, and book choices that did not work out as well. We have a great library system here in Nashville, and the Internet has been invaluable as well. One of my favorite sites for maps and flags is Enchanted Learning. I pay for that one yearly; it’s just $20, and it is worth it!

Motivational/Encouragement books I have loved coming up tomorrow!

Mom's Tip of the Day #38

Every parent needs an accountability partner: a trusted friend who holds her accountable for her choices. Who is asking you life’s tough questions?

It Takes at Least Two: Thanking God for the Power of Partnership in Homeschooling

I'm counting my blessings today, after an incredible weekend.

Fourteen years ago, we began homeschooling. It has been the most amazing journey, and thank God, it's not over yet--I've still got my boys!--but this past Saturday, we celebrated the completion of what we began. There are no regrets here--not one!

I started with preschool, because I was pregnant with Derek and I just wanted to be sure that I taught Danya how to read. That was really important to me. I learned to read at home, and it's been a lifelong love! Then, once she started reading, I felt like we could go ahead and try kindergarten. We literally took it a year at a time, until she was in the eighth grade. That's when we began praying about homeschooling all the way through high school.

That's nerve-wracking, you know? Huge decision. Well, I want to pay honor where honor is due, and I could never have done any of this without my friend Sandy.  From the beginning of this journey, she has helped me keep my balance. She has made up for my lacking in many areas (such as organization, to name just one!), and she has been an encouragement. She has been a safe place for fears, hopes, and dreams. And, like any true friend, a safe place to vent frustrations, as well! :) Thank you, Sandy. I praise God for the power of partnership! So glad He blessed me with you, from the very beginning. I couldn't help remembering the girls' kindergarten graduation (which seems like it was just a couple of minutes ago, btw). We were so proud, remember? The Class of 2010 and a senior graduation seemed like an awfully long way off.

BLINK--we're here. We're here!

It's really hard to express all the emotions involved in any child's high school graduation, but as  homeschoolers, I think our collective sigh of relief could be heard 'round the world! They did it! We did it!

And no one is socially maimed.

Here are our beautiful girls. They are intelligent, strong, and on their way to bright futures. Both earned scholarship awards to the colleges they have dreamed of attending. Our work here is done, in so many ways.

But our prayers and our hearts go with these daughters.

Stay tuned for Mom's Tip of the Day at noon CST! Or follow me on Twitter so you don't miss a thing! Coming up this week: My favorite homeschooling books and resources, plus couponing tips from Kelly!

Mom's Tip of the Day #91

The enemy is sneaky. In order to do battle, moms must take full advantage of the power found in listening, trusting, and obeying God.

Mom's Tip of the Day #71

Make time to be still with your child. Make yourself available so he knows he is important to you.